I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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