That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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