Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
