eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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