Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize