Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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