Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
