don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
