Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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