no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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