I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
