I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
