***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize