put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
