Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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