Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
