I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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