I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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