Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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