apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
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Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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