Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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