Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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