Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
