i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
