but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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