she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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