so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
