And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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