I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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