I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize