Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
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