Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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