this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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