I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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