When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
be right there i have to get my cape
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
