She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
only you would photoshop your dick
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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