he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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