Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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