About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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