i would punch a child for taco bell
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
