Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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