I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
