dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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