I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
