Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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