Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
