the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Enjoy the penises
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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