Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
