So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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