I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
