Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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