Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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