You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
