she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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