And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
