she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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