I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
